Trusting Yourself: Insights on Managing Stress and Social Media
Navigating the complexities of modern work and life can be particularly challenging for high-achieving individuals who are also highly sensitive to emotions. These "sensitive strivers" often excel in their careers but struggle with overthinking, impostor syndrome, and emotional overwhelm. Melody Wilding, executive coach and author of "Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work," offers valuable insights into managing these challenges, especially in the context of social media and personal values.
The Social Media Dilemma
Social media, while a powerful tool for connection and information, can also be a source of significant stress and anxiety. It often exacerbates feelings of comparison, FOMO (fear of missing out), and self-criticism. To combat these negative effects, Wilding suggests a "social media detox." This involves cleaning up social media feeds by removing content and accounts that induce negative feelings. Establishing boundaries, such as limiting time spent on social media, can also help prevent addiction to the endless scroll and encourage more meaningful, present interactions with family and friends.
Defining and Valuing "Enough"
One of the keys to overcoming the constant feeling of not being "enough" is to define what "enough" means on an individual level. This involves understanding personal values and aligning one's life with them. Wilding emphasizes the importance of reflecting on where time and money are spent, as these are indicators of what one truly values. Regular check-ins—weekly, monthly, or quarterly—can help ensure that actions and decisions align with these core values, fostering a sense of fulfillment and self-confidence.
Managing Burnout
Burnout is not solely the result of working long hours. It can stem from emotional exhaustion and a lack of fulfillment. Wilding identifies three types of burnout:
Overload Burnout: Working frantically to meet unrealistic demands.
Under-Challenge Burnout: Feeling unstimulated and unfulfilled due to lack of growth or learning opportunities.
Neglect Burnout: Feeling helpless and ineffective due to external factors beyond one's control.
Recognizing these types can help individuals take proactive steps to address the underlying issues, whether through seeking new challenges, setting healthier boundaries, or finding ways to regain a sense of control and purpose.
Core Values for Sensitive Strivers
Wilding outlines four core values essential for sensitive strivers to thrive:
Intentionality: Being proactive and deliberate in actions and decisions, rather than reacting passively to circumstances.
Integrity: Staying true to oneself, even when it means disappointing others. This builds self-trust and confidence.
Agency: Recognizing and exercising control over one's thoughts and actions. This involves understanding what is within one's control and what is not, fostering a sense of empowerment.
Ease: Embracing a mindset of simplicity and lightheartedness. Sensitive strivers often feel the need to constantly be productive, but allowing oneself to relax and create space for rest is crucial for long-term well-being.
Adapting Post-Pandemic
The pandemic forced many individuals to reassess their lives and careers. Wilding notes that this period has led to significant transitions, as people have reevaluated their priorities and made courageous changes. However, the lack of in-person interactions has also increased feelings of impostor syndrome and paranoia. Without the usual cues and validations from colleagues and friends, sensitive strivers may spin negative stories about themselves. Being mindful of these tendencies and actively seeking out positive reinforcements can help mitigate these effects.
For sensitive strivers, balancing high achievement with emotional well-being requires intentionality, integrity, agency, and ease. By managing social media use, regularly reflecting on personal values, and addressing different types of burnout, individuals can lead more fulfilling and balanced lives. Wilding's insights provide a valuable framework for navigating the complexities of modern life and work with confidence and clarity.