Ep.94 – Mercedes Coffman – A Willingness to Learn to Increase Relationship Success

Paul FennerPodcast

Mercedes Coffman, Therapy

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How does knowing your ideals and purpose how help you to figure out what you want out of life?  How does someone begin to identify what their ideals and purpose are? 

Mercedes Coffman is a licensed marriage and family therapist.  Born in Suriname, South America, Mercedes has experienced a wide range of different cultures and dynamics, which have led to a better understanding of sensitive issues among culturally diverse groups.

Having a background in working with people challenged by addictions, Mercedes has learned first-hand that when people do not have a solid understanding of their purpose, they can often turn to addictions to fill the gap.  Addictions do not necessarily have to be drugs and alcohol, but instead can be behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences.

In working with her therapy clients, Mercedes utilizes numerous tools to help people lay down their guard, show their authentic selves, and reduce over-analytics.  By asking, “what did you like as a kid,” or “if money wasn’t an object, what would you like to do,” Mercedes can begin to brainstorm with clients, which helps build a list.  From there, a person can begin narrowing down to determine what their ideals and purpose are.

Give Yourself a Gift

What many of us neglect to give ourselves is the gift of time.  The time to invest an hour a week to create the space you need to let your mind wander and be free to think about where you ultimately want to go.

From a career perspective, find what you are naturally good at vs. what you may be passionate about.  You can then align your natural abilities and interest with what the world needs.  A key in this challenge is to remain open and flexible, knowing that there are times when you do need to make decisions to survive, according to Mercedes.

When it comes to our most important relationship with our spouse or partner, Mercedes doesn’t see money as the biggest relationship issue but a lack of communication and connectedness that often drives people apart.  You can have a spender and saver in the same relationship, and the couple manages money perfectly fine because they don’t stop communicating with each other.

Please enjoy my conversation with Mercedes Coffman.

Mercedes Coffman Therapy

Psychology Today – Mercedes Coffman

Mercedes Coffman – Instagram