Ep. 123 - Bruce Fieler – Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age
How many life transitions have you been through? What did you learn about yourself going through them?
Bruce Fieler is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers and an avid collector and analyzer of life stories.
Years ago, Bruce began a journey when he embarked on a project to document the experiences of Americans from all walks of life. Little did he know that this venture would lead him to delve into the realm of transitions, a concept that seemed foreign to him initially.
Traveling across all 50 states, Bruce has encountered individuals who have faced adversity and triumphed, from those who have lost homes and limbs to those who have transformed their careers, religions, and marriages. Through his journey, Bruce has gained a deep understanding of the human experience and the resilience that lies within.
Bruce challenges the idea of a linear life and highlights that disruptions can happen at any age, with their pace quickening. He introduces the term "lifequakes" to describe massive disruptions lasting up to five years. It's astounding to learn that the average person goes through three to five lifequakes, spending nearly half of their life in transition.
Three takeaways
Lifequakes are opportunities for growth, not problems. Embracing them with a mindset of agency can lead to incredible personal development.
Whether it's a career change, becoming an empty nester, or any other major life shift, transitions are the solution to lifequakes. Transitions have three stages: the long goodbye (letting go of the old), the messy middle (navigating the uncertainty), and the new beginning (embracing the fresh start). Understanding and embracing these stages can help us navigate transitions more resiliently and confidently.
We need to stop thinking of our lives as being linear. Each of us has our unique shape of life. We can find meaningful work and a sense of purpose by identifying what truly matters to us and aligning our actions with our values.
Throughout our conversation, we point out how these "lifequakes" can impact our financial plans. Recall that one of the worst things you can do when going through an emotional situation is make financial decisions. For example, if you are going through a grieving process, you may try to use the spending of money to make up for the sadness and the hole in your heart.
Please enjoy my conversation with Bruce Feiler.
Other Resources You May Like
1 Big Idea to Think About
Life transitions are not just inevitable; they are opportunities for growth. Bruce Fieler introduces the concept of "lifequakes," massive disruptions that can reshape our lives for up to five years. Embracing these transitions with a mindset of agency can lead to incredible personal development and renewal.
1 Way You Can Apply This
Redefine Success on Your Terms
Challenge the traditional concept of a linear life.
Define success on your terms by identifying what truly brings you meaning and fulfillment.
Bruce Fieler's book, "The Search," provides practical tools and thought-provoking questions to guide you in finding work that aligns with your values.
1 Question to Ask
How Have Life Transitions Shaped Your Unique Story?
Reflect on your personal journey through life transitions. Share specific examples of how these experiences have influenced your perspectives, priorities, and personal growth.
Key Moments From the Show
Lifequakes and Their Impact: [00:07:53]
Bruce introduces the concept of lifequakes, defining them as massive disruptions lasting up to five years. The average person goes through three to five lifequakes, spending nearly half of their life in transition.
Challenges of the Empty Nest Syndrome: [00:28:08]
Bruce discusses the emotional challenges associated with the "long goodbye" problem during the empty nest syndrome, emphasizing the importance of embracing this phase.
Workquakes and Career Transitions: [00:43:37]
Exploration of workquakes, sudden jolts in life that force individuals to reconsider their careers. Bruce highlights that 55% of workquakes begin outside the workplace, challenging the conventional view of career transitions.
The Nonlinear Nature of Life: [00:40:10]
Insight into millennials' healthier attitude towards work and happiness due to growing up in a nonlinear world. Bruce encourages a reevaluation of the traditional approach to work and life.
The Shape of Life and ABCs of Meaning: [00:25:54]
Introduction to the concept of the shape of life, with agency, belonging, and cause as the ABCs of meaning. Understanding the proportions of these elements helps individuals find balance and purpose.